Legends Never Die
by Suckerpunch
Summary: Another fic by myself, has to do with, umm, bringing Yamiish people back to life, and adventures thereafter, Chapter 3 is UP. Prequel and eventual reincarnation of Life After Battle City. Parings read 2 find out, lazy bumc
1. They're back, well, mostly

Mark: Hello all who have read some of my pathetic work before, and if you've never read my pathetic works before, welcome! Sad news, all works I've done in YuGiOh have been removed by the FF dudes, we all knew it was going to happen, but it still sucks, so I'm going to keep doing it anyway, LOOK EVERYONE SCRIPT FORMAT!  
  
Larry: :at his house, eating Crisco and meat while looking at pictures John Lennon: Oh my gosh this guy uses script format! ThAt's like a sIn! DammIt my voice is breaking agAIn! Uncle Joey was so hot! What, No, NO, I'M NOT GAY!  
  
Mark: Yep, anyway, NOW IN THIS FIC OF YUGIOH! I will have random humorous- ness, some romance is, possible, but that more requires plot. Which is a BIG maybe in my fics. Anyway, here is my newest pathetic work! PS: Thanks for reviewing my other stories DIS, and I'm sorry they took some of your fics down too! And to anybody else reading whos fics suffered the same fate, sorry to you too. not PSagain... There will be some Xovers from Trigun, and well, other animes but they will not promote to the plot and will be there in back up rolls... thanks  
  
Disclaimer: Yep, he doesn't own it. Sucks huh? This takes place after, well, EVERYTHING! After the Ceremonial Duel and everything.

* * *

CHAPTER 1 They're back, well, mostly...  
  
Yami was sitting around in the afterlife, and it was TOTALLY dull. "Wow, I'm Yami, and this afterlife is TOTALLY dull!" See, told ya! Anyways, it was like, I don't know, maybe a couple months after a certain ceremonial duel. And, Yami finally got fed up. "I'm fed up! It's time to get back to the living world!"  
  
Back in the Living World, at Ryou's house...  
  
"Wow, it sure is nice not having the Pharaoh around, huh Marik?"  
  
"Yeah Bakura, it is, wait, how'd we get back here?"  
  
"Plothole."  
  
"OH! Got any 8's?"  
  
"GO FISH SUCKA!"  
  
"Darn."  
  
Ryou came out of the bathroom; he had been taking a shower so he had a towel rapped around him. He passed through the living room.  
  
"Hi pathetic lightside."  
  
"Hi sadistic darkside."  
  
"Hi pathetic mortal."  
  
"Hi murderous Egyptian spirit."  
  
Ryou walked up to his room, and then realized what just happened.  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE F-CK!"  
  
Bakura and Marik chuckled, and much to Marik's dismay, Bakura didn't have any 3's.  
  
At the Kame Game Shop...  
  
Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda, and Yuugi were all sitting around, watching TV.  
  
"Hey, have ya guys eva wondad how Yami's doin'?  
  
His friends all sighed and said yes.  
  
"I just hope he's happy." Yuugi commented.  
  
With a crack and crash the door was ripped off it hinges as Ryou ran over it.  
  
"BA, BA, KRA, AN, MAR, MA, IK, AT, M, MY, HOS!"  
  
The other four all looked at each other worried. Yuugi got up and went over to Ryou.  
  
"Ryou," Yuugi said calmly, "TALK!" smack, "SLOWLY!" smack, "AND CLEARLY!" smack.  
  
"Th-thanks Yuugi, you're a real pal. Anyway, as I was saying, BAKURA AND MARIK ARE SITING IN MY LIVING ROOM PLAYING GO FISH!"  
  
"WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Everyone screamed.  
  
"You guys heard me!"  
  
"Well lead the way!" They yelled.  
  
"Lets go!" Ryou ran off. And the others followed.  
  
In the afterlife...  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU CAN'T SEND ME BACK'? YOUR RA FOR YOUR SAKE! YOU HAVE THE POWER, AND DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T LEAD A GOOD LIFE, I SAVED THE WORLD LIKE FIVE TIMES!"  
  
"Yeah, but, I'm not really feeling like it Atemu, I mean, I have this cramp in my back and... yea."  
  
At Ryou's house...  
  
"THERE, THERE THEY ARE!"  
  
"Hi pathetic mortals." Both Yami's said flatly. Then Bakura looked up at the party, and had to suppress laughter, he hit Marik on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah?" he looked up, and started to giggle madly, yes that's right, Marik, Yami Malik, giggled madly. Bakura soon lost control and busted out laughing, as did the other four behind Ryou.  
  
"What, what are you all laughing at?!?!" Ryou yelled while flapping his arms wildly.  
  
"Foolish Hikari, you seem to have dropped your towel! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ryou then looked down, and saw that the towel had fallen off his waist. He blushed and ran up to his room while those six continued laughing.  
  
"I wonda why it stayed on him running drough da streets but just den fell off?"  
  
"It doesn't really matter Jou, it's a fic, just laugh." Anzu stated.  
  
"Oh, OK! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Bakura looked over and saw Anzu, he got tunnel vision, 'WOW! Anzu is really HOT! What, did I just think that, well, she does have a nice rack, not a bad piece of ass either. I mean, ummm, RYOU IS SMALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'  
  
Marik looked over and saw Anzu, he got tunnel vision, 'WOW! Anzu is really HOT! Yep, I'd bone that any day!'  
  
Yuugi looked over at the two Yami's and got tunnel vision, no, no wait he looked over at the two Yami's suspiciously, "Wait a second, YOU'RE BOTH BAD GUYS!"  
  
They looked at one another and then back at Yuugi and the others, "Yea, but we got kind of bored with the world domination thing." Bakura explained.  
  
"Isn't that slightly out of character" Anzu asked.  
  
"Yea probably," Marik replied, "but, we don't really care, besides, do you think we were that serious in the first place, we were playing a Ra damned card game." Bakura nodded at Marik's comment.  
  
"Hhmmm, good point."  
  
"Thanks little Yuugi."  
  
"I'm the only Yuugi now."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Marik squealed and started chanting, 'NO MORE PHARAOH! NO MORE PHAROAH!' Bakura slapped Marik across the face, "We already knew that, dumbass."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
Jou leaned over to the other four, "Dese guys are pretty funny when dey ain't tryin ta kill ya."  
  
In the afterlife...  
  
"C'mon Ra!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"No."  
  
"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS SSEEEEEEEEE!?!?!??!?!?!?!?"  
  
"No."  
  
"DAMN!"  
  
At Ryou's House...  
  
Ryou then ran down the stairs with clothes on (sorry fangirls of Ryou) with a wooden cross screaming, "YOUR DARK PLANS OF WORLD DOMINATION AND RUINING MY REPUTATION AS A GOOD GUY WON'T WORK THIS TIME DEMON!"  
  
Yuugi laughed, "Hah, looks like your going to have to repeat yourself!"  
  
Bakura sighed, "Fuck."

* * *

Mark: First chapter complete.  
  
Jon: Will Ryou ever calm down? Will Yami ever convince Ra to let him come into the living world? Where the Hell are Kaiba, Mokuba, Duke, Mai, and Serenity? Why am I asking you these questions, it's not like you know the answers.  
  
Mark: Close it up, slaves, I mean, friends!  
  
ChibiObelisk: :looks up at you with puppy eyes, and for some reason has floppy puppy ears: Pwease Rewiew...  
  
Jou: What the Hell? ChibiOBELISK?  
  
ChibiObelisk: :punches Jou:  
  
Jou: OH GOD!  
  
ChibiObelisk: That's Chibi God to you, bitch! 


	2. Yami's adventures, n other stuff

Mark: Whats up my psychedelic friends?

Jon: Dude, do you even know what psychedelic means?

Mark: Not really, but it sounds cool!

Jon: You are an idiot, y'know that?

Mark: Yeah anyway sorry about taking so long to update, I've had a lot of stuff going on. School, football, moving up loony grandma, all that stuff. Anyway, I decided on something, this is a prequel to Life After Battle City! And after a few chapters, LABC will be retold, in a way that will not get it taken off the site by communistic punks! Wait, psychedelic is a drug related term, oh. IT STILL SOUNDS COOL!

Disclaimer: Werd, Mark doesn't own anything, at all.

CHAPTER 2! Yami's Adventures In the Afterlife! Along with cooties

When we last left Yami

"OUCH, OK OK OK YAMI JUST PUT THE SLEDGE DOWN!"

"So you'll send me back now punk?"

"YES, JUST STOP BEATING THE SH-T OUT OF ME!"

"Finally!"

At Ryou's house

'Okay, dis is important. I gotta win, for Serenity sake!'

"Got any threes ya white haired freak?"

"Go fish."

Jou: -.-

Bakura: )

Anzu: (/) () (/) ()

Everyone: O.O

Honda was slightly dumbstruck. "Well that was odd."

Suddenly a bright tube of light appeared in the room and the great Pharaoh materialized in the room.

Honda was slightly dumbstruck. "Well that was odd."

Bakura and Marik we're unhappy, "AH WE'RE UNHAPPY!"

Told ya.

"HA, I am back!"

Marik looked up, "How'd you get back?"

"I beat Ra over the head with a big hammer."

"Oh."

"How'd you two get back?"

"Plothole."

"Oh yea, damn wish I'd thought of that."

Ryou came out of the kitchen with an apron on and a pan of muffins, "Muffins anyone?"

Honda was slightly dumbstruck. "Well that was odd"

Ryou was slightly dumbstruck, then, "OMIGOD, HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES!"

Anzu, Yuugi, Yami, Bakura, Marik(yea, that's right, Marik), Jou, and Ryou all ran around the room screaming in uncharacteristically high girly voices that chanted HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES!

"Ah c'mon guys, I don't have cooties!"

"HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES!"

"GUYS, I'M COOTIELESS!"

HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"  
  
"YES"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!!!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

Honda put on a pouting face, "Ah man, not again, I'm going home." And with that Honda left. As soon as the door closed, everyone collapsed on the couches/recliners/floor. Yea, that's right, everyone had been argued with Honda in perfect sync.

"Ah, that always works." Ryou stated.

"Yeah." Everyone else chimed in unison.

Soon there was an unexpected knock on the door. Ryou, ever the accommodating and gracious host, got up and went to answer the door. "Who is it?"

"NO!" Bakura jumped on his former body-mate.

"BAKURA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR! THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO!"

"OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT ME TO DO, THAT'S WHY THEY KNOCKED ON MY DOOR!"

During the struggle, Anzu went to answer the door. "Hello?"

"Hello Anzu."

"OH ISIS!"

Anzu and Isis hugged, and Malik and Rishid were in the background though they soon came in.

Marik, went over and punched Malik in the arm. "Say, long time no see huh?"

"I really don't like you Marik, you corrupted me and took over my body!"

"Jeeze, someone holds a grudge." Marik then looked over at Rishid, who instead of greeting everyone else, was standing there unmoving for the most part. Marik fluttered over to Rishid with a goofy look on his face, "Whatsa matter mistew gwumpy gills?"

Everyone: O.O''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"What? So I liked Finding Nemo? PUNKS!"

Honda was slightly dumbstruck. "Well that was odd."

Jou got a face fault, "AH DUDE DON'T SCARE ME LIKE DAT! Wait justa minute how'd ya get back in here?"

Ryou got an excited look on his face, "COOTIES!"

"Ah c'mon guys, I don't have cooties!"

"HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES!"

"GUYS, I'M COOTIELESS!"

HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! HONDA'S GOTS COOTIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"NO COOTIES!"

"YES COOTIES!"

"TO HELL WITH IT!" I'M LEAVING!"

Yami got flustered, "GOOD YOU COOTIE INFESTED RHINOCEROS-HEAD!"

"Ooooh, that was a real hard-hitter Pharaoh. You've almost made it to a third grade level." Bakura snickered.

"Bring it on Bakura!"

"Oh, we just got to puberty level!"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGG!"

Mark: Well, sorry it's so short.

Jon: And it sucks so bad.

Mark: -.- You go to hell, you go to hell and you die. Anyway, next chapter will be longer, then I will attempt to rewrite the erased chapters of Life After Battle City. However, I will intentionally change some things, just because I can.

Pegasus: Oooh, your such a rebel Marky-boy. I like that.

Mark: O.O'''

Jou: Umm, Yea, review please.

ChibiObelisk: Yea, what blonde-O said.

Pegasus: Oooh, so cute! :picks up CO:

ChibiObelisk: Put me down infidel!


	3. Beer and the Porcelian God

Mark: This is your Captain commanding all the fly honnies to say OOOH OOOH!

Fly honnies: OOOH OOOH!

Jon: When you have to steal jokes from Sealab2021 it's pretty sad.

Mark: ...

Jon: Yea.

Mark: Anyway, here is the next chapter of Legends Never Die, and then the newest, latest, greatest, new and improved, digitally remastered, editors edition of Life After Battle City will be released! Except, y'know, they'll be in this story, and it will be, after pretty much everything, not just battle city, yea.

Disclaimer: Mark doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Sealab 2021, or any of those characters. He does however own George.

* * *

CHAPTER 3 Alcohol, it's more fun that water!

At Ryou's house, 20 minutes after the Ishtars had arrived...

"PASS ME A BEER!"

"HeY I WaNnA WaTcH ThaT THErE ShOw!"

"Honda, dats a not a T.V., it's a cactus."

"It SuRe TaStEs LiKe A CiNnAmOn RoLl!"

"OH WOW I SEE WHY THEY CALLED YOU PHARAOH!"

"YEA, hic, I BET THAT PRETTY EGYPTIAN ASS LIKES THAT HUH?"

"YAMI WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, hic, TERRORIST WHORE?"

"HEY AnzU It'S ALL GOOD!"

SMACK

In the kitchen...

Ryou looked over at Malik discustedly, "Why did you bring beer? Of all the stupid things, you give alcohol TO THE YUUGI-TASHI?"

Malik didn't even get his head out of the fridge, "Yeah, why not?"

"Why can't you just see the humor in it hikari?"

"Why can't I WHAT? HONDA IS EATING MY CACTUS, YAMI AND ISIS ARE DOING THINGS MARK SHOULDN'T TYPE IN A PG-13 STORY, WHICH IS LEAVING ANZU HEARTBROKEN, HONDA IS EATING MY CACTUS, KATSUYA JUST TOOK A DUMP BEHIND MY CURTAINS, AND RISHID IS IN THE BATHROOM TRYING TO ARMWRESTLE MY TOLIET!"

"Yeah, like Bakura said Ryou, why can't you just see the humor?"

At this point Bakura passed out from menstruati, er, I mean uh, frustration yea, yea that's it.

In Ryou's bathroom...

"YOU WANNA DO SOMETHIN ABOUT IT HUH?"

"OH WHAT YOUR TO GOOD FOR ME?"

"OH MAN YOU ARE CRUSIN FOR A BRUSIN NOW!"

"Dude, I'm a fucking toilet."

"... THE SHITER TALKS!"

"Eh, hem, My name is George, George Elifritz Toiletousm but my college buddys called me Toilet."

In the living room...

"PHARAOH! The mean little, hic, Japanese schoolgirl just called me a terrorist whore."

"Now Anzu, hic, Isis is not a terrorist."

"YAMI, I love you! Not HER!"

"OH get over it!"

Anzu: O.O :sniff: T0T WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the kitchen...

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

"huh?" both Bakura and Marik look up, then rush into the living room.

In the living room, again...

Bakura and Marik: WHATS WRONG MY PRECIOUS ANZU?

"Mean Yami chose Isis over me, WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Bakura and Marik went over and comforted Anzu, not like that, but it's not that they were nice guys they just wanted some ass.

In the bathroom...

"I see, I see, so you just didn't get enough attention as a child is that it Rishid?"

"THAT'S IT EXACTLY! Wow toilet you know exactly what I'm thinking."

"Well, lets say I've, umm, 'MET' a lot of people in my line of 'WORK' and umm, people tend to talk over their problems while they 'DEPOSIT THEIR FECES INTO MY MOUTH' so I know a lot about the human psyche."

"Wow Toilet, your cool man, your wanna be my best friend?"

"Seeing as I have nothing better to do, and my days consist of eating shit, literally, and watching Bakura stroke his piece while talking about Yami, SURE!"

"AWESOME, LET'S GO HIT A BAR!"

In the living room...

"OH NO YOUR NOT TOUCHING ANZU WITH ANY OF YOUR NASTY TOYS MARIK!"

"SAYS WHO BAKURA?"

"SAYS ME!"

"Hey guys."

"Yeah Malik?" the quarrelers answered in unison.

"Anzu left 30 minutes ago, she's not here anymore."

Bakura and Marik: -.-''''''''''''''''''''

Yami and Isis: :come out of a backroom:

"Wow, pharaoh you were great."

"Yea, I was."

"What?"

"I mean, um, geese fly in flocks."

"Oh pharaoh, your all-knowing wisdom doth smith me!"

"Da, Pharoaohth, hath no ideath whath dath hell you just saidith!"

Ryou stumbled into the living room, having regained consciousness, "Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

"Yea, we're gonna jet, right Honda?"

"Sure thing pal! I'll just put some of this cactus in a doggy bag."

"Oh, right, well it is midnight isn't it," Isis commented, "Well, anyway I came here to tell everyone we moved to Domino, so see ya!"

"Hey wait for me sis!"

"Hey wait for me hikari's sis!"

"I'm coming." Rishid said as he walked down the stairs, out the door, and into the car with the rest of them.

"Well, I'd better get back to the game shop."

"Nice seeing you again Yami."

"I'm gonna use your bodily fluids to boil my steak some day Pharaoh."

"See you later donkey raping shit eater."

"Well, since I've got nowhere else to go, guess I'll stay here with you." Bakura said, as he hoped on the couch.

Ryou was too tired to argue, "Whatever, I'm going to hit the sack." And with that Ryou went up to brush his teeth and go to bed.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE TOILET?"

Bakura chuckled.

At the game shop...

Yami, accompanied by Yugi, who had left whenever he heard that alcohol would be involved, (his legs were so short Yami caught up with him easily) entered the Game Shop.

"Grandpa, I'm home, and Yami's back from the dea-MY VIRGIN EYES!" Yugi screeched.

"OH MY RA, MY UN-VIRGIN EYES!" Yami bellowed.

"Oh, Yugi, I didn't expect you to be home so soon, meet my special friend."

"Hello Yugi-boy and Yami-boy."

"This is just wrong..."

"Grandpa how could you?"

"Hehe, I don't know my boy, uh, Pegasus could you hand me my bra? Thanks."

* * *

Jon: O.O

Mark: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, so for those of you who read Life After Battle City that should explain some stuff that I never thought I would have explained, but oh well.

Malik: Walk like and Egyptian.

Mark: review please!


End file.
